Unexpected blessings
by cein
Summary: Set ten years after the S6 finale, Ziva reflects on her current place in life and how she got there.


Title: Unexpected blessings

Character(s): Ziva David, Jimmy Palmer

Pairing(s): Ziva/Jimmy

Genre(s): Romance

Episode(s): S6 finale

Rating PG-15

Warnings Implied past non-con

Prompt Round 8 of NCIS LFWS, write a story set 10 years after the season 6 finale.

Disclaimer Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Her star of David was ripped from her neck, the burn of the chain against her skin hardly noticeable amongst her other injuries. Tell me about N.C.I.S., a voice hissed in her ear. Never! she spat, half crazed with the pain.

I hoped you'd say that. Hands reached for her and she started screaming.

------------------

Ziva sat up in the bed, her heart pounding furiously. No! she hissed into the darkness. Her whole body was covered in sweat, which rapidly cooled in the chill night air. She reached instinctively for her neck, for a talisman which was no longer there, one that had not been there for many years. Instead she found a simple circle of gold, a wedding band that had been her symbol of hope and strength since the day it had first been placed on her finger. The skin warmed metal was soothing to the touch as she tried to get her breathing under control. No, she said out loud, her voice steadier than it had been a few seconds earlier. I am not in that chair, I am not in that place. He has no power over me. It was a mantra that she had had to repeat to herself many times throughout the past ten years.

A fluttering sensation in her swollen belly served as a reminder of where she was and Ziva took one hand from her neck to place it reassuringly on her bump. Rest easy little one, she said softly. There is nothing to fear. It was a promise as much as a statement. Ziva knew that this child would not grow up to be used as a weapon. This child would have a father who would love and care for her or him and not consider them as a pawn to be used for their bidding. And if her son or daughter chose that path for themselves, well Ziva would make sure it was *their* choice and not one they had made in a vain effort to win their father's love.

Beside her a figure stirred uneasily in his sleep. Ziva couldn't help but smile. There had been little need for her to stifle her cries, not when it was her husband asleep beside her. It was a running joke among their friends and colleagues that a bomb could go off in the yard and it wouldn't wake him from his sleep. Fortunately they had never had to test *that* theory. Jimmy always defended himself by claiming that being able to sleep soundly had been an asset during his college and med student days. Ducky of course backed him up, usually following up with a story on just how useful it was to be able to take ones rest no matter what the circumstances.

But there were always some things that could cut through Jimmy Palmer's repose, and Ziva knew that a word from her and he would wake and provide what comfort he could for her troubles.

It was something that Ziva had not anticipated when she had embarked on the relationship. Initially however, she had not even intended it to be a 'relationship' merely a way to prove to herself that she was not as damaged as some people seemed to think. Even though Director Vance's words about being 'damaged goods' had been referring to her usefulness as an agent, they had echoed through Ziva's mind as the days and weeks had passed. She knew that time was taking care of the physical side of things her doctor and trainers kept assuring her of that. But it was the emotional side of her character that she felt had been damaged beyond repair, and no amount of reluctant sessions with a therapist had seemed to help.

So she had taken the step that she had felt necessary in order to prove to herself that her ordeal had not left her permanently impaired. She had gone through her alternatives coldly and logically before making her decision. Her teammates she had rejected immediately, their once strong rapport far too fragile now to be compromised solely so she could prove a point to herself. Most of the other single agents had also been rejected as possibilities. It wasn't that Ziva didn't trust them, it was just that under the circumstances, she felt 'safer' in dealing with a man who was not trained and capable of using deadly force. And so she had narrowed down her choices, and at the next N.C.I.S. Holiday celebrations, she had set her hat at Jimmy Palmer.

Ziva smiled as she lay down beside her sleeping husband and curled up against him as best she could. Once upon a time she had intended to use him to work through her own issues and then send him on his way. While she had always respected his intelligence and his devotion to his work, she had never really given much thought to him outside of it. She had thought that he was somebody who could be easily influenced, who would accept whatever terms she would dictate for their encounter. But he had surprised her not only in his recognition of her issues but also in his willingness to help her resolve them. Her intended therapeutic 'one night stand' had become a succession of them, and almost without Ziva realizing it they had become a couple.

Ziva leaned in and brushed a kiss against Jimmy's cheek. He mumbled in his sleep and turned towards her, eyes flickering open until he was focused on her face. Hey, he said sleepily, one hand reaching out to touch her. Everything okay?

Everything is just as it should be, said Ziva, allowing him to pull her close. Secure in his arms, she knew her dreams could not harm her. I love you, she whispered, as one of his hands found its way to her stomach, an instinctive gesture of protection and comfort. She clasped his hand in hers as she let her whole body relax against him. His breath was hot against the side of her neck as she closed her eyes again.

And I love you too, was the muffled reply that echoed in her head as she fell asleep.

The end


End file.
